I'm still shaking

I can't believe I am telling this story. I'm not sure I want to share it yet, but I also don't want to tell it dozens of times. I'm still shaking, so I hope it comes out clearly. Here goes...

Today was a beautiful day, warmer than it's been in a while. I decided to take my kids on a walk late in the afternoon to the park near our house. As we approached the park, I saw a somewhat large group of teenagers (maybe 25 or 30). I thought nothing of it at first, as there are basketball courts and stuff at the park, and there often are older kids there. The park sits on a sloping hill. We were walking along the path at the bottom of the park, the teens were at the top of the park. I was focused largely on keeping Connor and Isabel out of the water puddles while I pushed Lucas in the stroller. At the same time, I was keeping one eye on the group of kids.

Suddenly, I realized things were turning sour. A big fight broke out, kids started yelling, swearing, and beating each other up. I was contemplating turning back or going a different direction, when all of a sudden this kid comes running at me, screaming, "ma'am, you've got to get your kids out of here! They're going to start shooting!" I'm like, "what???" Then he scoops up Connor, I panic and grab Isabel, and somehow (I have no recollection of how), we maneuver Lucas and the stroller and start running toward a swampy area between us and a street. As soon as we turned to start running, shots rang out right behind us. I have never, ever felt like I was running for my life (and my kids' lives), but that is exactly what we were doing. I remember somewhere between 5 and 10 shots.

We run across the street to a neighborhood; I'm hysterical, my kids are hysterical, this kid who helped us is hysterical (turns out he is 16 and was just skateboarding at the park). We look back at the park; the kids are dispersing every which way, but one has clearly been shot, and is lying there, not moving. A neighbor comes out, we tell him what happened, he calls 911. Within seconds there are about 20 police cars, fire trucks, an ambulance, and a number of helicopters.

Our kind helper-boy and I stand there for a minute, not sure what to do. He asks me how old Connor is; I say he's almost 5. He tells me he has a brother that age, and saw us there and had to help us. He asks me how old I am; I tell him I'm 33. He says his mom is 35. His name is Kevin. He gives me a hug, and we are crying. I thank him repeatedly for helping us, and warning us. I really don't know how I would have run through that swamp with three kids and a stroller without his help, or what even would have happened had he not warned us.

After a bit, when there were swarms of law enforcement officers around, I decided to shakily start walking for home. I stop and tell a police officer that I saw the whole thing. He tells me to go stand on the sidewalk, then comes over for my info. Then he thanks me, and tells me to go home quickly and stay there.

While we are walking/running home, Connor asks why we are so scared, what those loud bang noises were, why there are so many helicopters around, why that boy carried him, who he was, etc. etc. etc. I try to answer his questions, but give as little info as I can get by with. Connor doesn't know what guns are (and hopefully won't for a long time). I just tell him some kids were being really mean and it made me sad.

Earlier in the day, a strange little thing happened: Brian found a ladybug walking around on the dining room floor. We thought it was a little weird to find a ladybug in our house in February, when it's been cold and snowy a lot. We put it in Connor's bug house. Well, when we got home after the incident and they both calmed down, that ladybug kept Connor and Isabel quietly occupied for quite some time, while I called Brian at work, my mom, and a close friend to cry on their shoulders and work through my fear, stress and "what ifs." I'm calling our little ladybug friend a tiny miracle, along with our friend Kevin.

The shooting has been all over the news; last I saw, two kids actually were shot, several are in custody. I am calming down a little bit. My head is aching and my whole body aches. I cannot even believe two kids got shot maybe 50 feet from us, and that we were so close to danger. I have never been comfortable with guns; this just solidifies that. Why are so many kids and adults shooting people? And don't even get me started on violent video games.

This is one of the scariest things I have witnessed. I will never go to that park again.